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  • Writer's pictureVanessa Wells

Hey Girl: A Letter To My Vagina

Hey Girl,

There’s really no need for the pleasantries because we know each other so well but this is how letters start so here we go...

I think about you all of the time and we chat often but I want to take some time out to thank you (publicly) for being a friend and reminisce about the good times we’ve had.

Thank you, girl, for forgiving me for all I’ve put you through. Remember that time I hit you on the railing of our childhood bunk bed and you were bleeding and we had to go to the hospital? Or when I first tried a tampon and shoved (and left) the whole thing in you, applicator fully extended and all? Good times. You got me back though - several times. You love a public bleed out, huh girl? But it’s cool. I guess we can call it even now.

Now let me talk about you boo and what makes you so special. You’re so warm and strong. Your hair is dark and lovely (and straight... who would’ve thought). And might I say... you smell so good! Thank you for that - I really really appreciate it. And the niggas seem to as well. You kegel to the beat of my heart. You make me feel like a beautiful woman. Wow, I’m actually getting emotional. I hope this doesn’t mean you’re inviting Aunt Flo(w) over early. Anyway, we are forever connected and I just love you so much.

And girl... thank you for being patient with me. You know what I’m talking about. I know we bump heads sometimes but I can’t have no nigga come between us (more so you) until I’m sure that I’m sure. And these niggas are a constant disappointment so for the most part, it’s just you and me kid. I’ll do the best I can to keep us happy in the meantime.

All in all, I just want to say good looking out girl. You’ve been there for me through everything. We’re gonna ride this thing called life until the wheels fall off. Just you and me... until a trusty dick comes along for us to ride. One day boo. One day.

You’re the best. Thanks for the orgasms.

Love, Me

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