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  • Victoria Uwumarogie

Enjoy Your Vagina: Why I Pat My Pum Pum

I don't remember when I started doing it, but for quite some time, I've touched myself. And when I say touch myself, I don't mean masturbation. I just literally touch myself.

Sometimes I do it when I'm trying to go to sleep. Other times I do it when I'm relaxing. Every once in a while, I do it when I'm in the bathroom after relieving myself. I'll cup my vulva, lightly pull at my labia majora, and sometimes I pet the labia minora. I often reach for my vulva out of boredom. But most of the time, I'm not even thinking about it before I realize that I've let my hand sit in my pants or rubbed my pubic hair while lying in my bed, thinking about whatever is on my mind. Nowadays, it's second nature.

While I'm sure it sounds a bit odd, it's quite harmless. I don't receive sexual gratification from it at all, but rather, great comfort. I enjoy the warmth and like the way it calms me. But even if I did do it for sexual gratification, there's nothing wrong with that. While I've seen men readjust, scratch or rub themselves in public (and no one asks them why), let's just say I "adjust" myself when I get home. It meant nothing when I lived alone, but nowadays, my light fondling precipitates a discussion with my husband.

"What are you doing?" he'll ask me as we sit on the couch together.

And in response, I'm honest.

"I'm just touching my vaginal area. It's calming. That's it."

I could explain it using all sorts of safe words and come up with excuses and explanations, and he would still go from our conversation doing the slow head nod and perched bottom lip. That universally means, "I don't get it, but ok..." And that's understandable, because he's not a woman.

If men don't look at touching one's self as something more common for the male species, then they don't look at a woman's vagina as something we can derive pleasure from outside of sex and masturbation. It's something they penetrate, that carries a child, that sweats and releases discharge and blood every month. As fun as it is for them, it doesn't seem like something we can actually enjoy unless we stick our finger in it. But that's quite far from the truth.

There's no science to it. I touch myself because I like to and because of the contentment I derive from it. At this point, it's almost like rubbing my arm when I'm cold or getting under a blanket when it's chilly. Just as I admire my body in a mirror, I also admire it with my hand from time to time. And when you think about it, the vagina is pretty neat. It does many things that are remarkable, gross and downright confusing at times. But who knew that just a light touch could bring so much comfort and happiness?

To our vaginas! Give yourself a hand, ladies. Literally.

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