Enjoy Your Vagina: I Didn't Think I Could Squirt Until I Met Him
Updated: Oct 14
I met this person through work. I was like the new girl at his job... It's funny because when I first started everybody gave me a run down of what guys to avoid and who not to talk to. 'This person's a dog...' And he was on the list of the dogs. So I'm like 'I know a dog when I see a dog, whatever.' Plus, I wasn't there for that. I was there to work.
Of course, right away, he approached me but was real like cordial, said hello being nice or whatever...along with other people. So I was kind of brushing everybody off. I felt like everybody was one in the same.
So after months, he ended up asking me for my number. I gave him my number. I'm in my 'single, ready to mingle' phase. I had just got out of a relationship like six months prior. He texted me for months and he was all like, 'I just want to be your friend.' 'Ok, yeah right.' But when people do that, I'm like 'Ima hit you with some real friendly conversation just to see how bad you want to be my friend.' So we talked about a whole bunch of regular stuff but it was never flirtatious-- to the point where everybody at work went out and I tried to pawn him off on my friend.
I'm like, 'Yeah, she want to hook up with you.' This, that and the other.
And he said, 'Well, I'll go if you going.'
We're drinking or whatever.
He was going to pick her up at my place so we all went back to my place and of course she fell asleep. She really wasn't interested in him. She fell asleep and that's when me and him hooked up.
Gurl, shut up! Where was she?
She was in another room. I had this apartment where my master bedroom was on the complete other side of the apartment. It was a pretty big apartment. And she was drunk, knocked out. She was going through some things. So that's when he pursued me. And I wasn't--I mean, I was interested but I wasn't really. I was brushing it off. And he started kissing me on my collarbone and that's when I lost it.
I'm so glad you said that because I was like 'What happened? Y'all was just friends and you were trying to put him on to somebody else...
I know! I have no idea. It just happened so quickly. And I feel like I was drinking but I wasn't that drunk. And when he did it, I was like 'Oh noooooooo.' I didn't know that that was a spot for me until he did it and I was like, 'Dangit! How did he figure this out?' I'm supposed to know my weaknesses, you know?
So we went to my room. Of course she's out there, she's passed out but I'm like 'We gotta be quiet.' All of this being quiet, kind of sneaky thing added to the whole experience. And he just kept saying, 'Oh, I been wanting you for so long.' And it was just all...very...it was like out of a movie. And the thing is I had been wanting to have good sex for the longest beforehand.
I was in the long term relationship and I thought that was good sex. I mean, we had two kids! I didn't know any more than what I had experienced with him. And I had had sex probably like two more times since I'd been single. And they were both flops, like 30 seconds.
Yes! Full on flops. I didn't even think that these were real things that happen. Minute men. That's real! There are men out there like that. So I was like, 'Oh my gosh maybe I had it good and didn't know it.'
But this guy was totally different. He was older, like in his thirties. I was like 25-26 so, to me, I was still new in the game because I hadn't had sex with a lot of people so I didn't know what all was out there.
This guy was just... he was older, he was stronger, taller, like football built kind of guy. And he was just...ugh he was so dark skinned. I don't even know how that adds to it but something about it is very powerful.
The thing about it is, his penis isn't super big. It's not like 'Oh my gosh, get it away from me!' It's just average.' But his whole thing was 'Now that I got you, Ima please you.' So we're having sex and it's missionary at first. His whole thing was trying to make me cum. And I'm like, 'No, I don't cum.'
Uhhhh you said that?!
I watch tv. I read somewhere that not everybody is a squirter and all that. That just don't work for me. For him and me that first time, was everything. I didn't cum that night but it was everything because he flipped me when I wanted to be flipped--and I'm a big girl but he made me feel like I was a little rag doll, just tossing me over here. He pulled my hair the right way. I ain't never had my hair pulled-- all this hair. I mean, dripping sweat. It was everything. And it was just-- it just flowed. He knew everything that I wanted done without me telling him. And he didn't force it. Some guys force the position changes. They like, 'Oh we gon do it this way. Ima flip you on your stomach. Ima raise your leg.' We doing all these acrobatic changes and I'm not even satisfied.
What he would do, he would perfect the position and then he would move on to something else. And it felt like, it just escalated. Each move was just better and better. It was so good. So, so good.
I ended up sleeping with him consistently for about a year. It was over a year but I would say a good year. He's who I call Old Faithful. Because he was known as the hoe at the job and I'm like 'Oh my gosh.' But he knows stuff because of that. He knows different women's sizes and what they like and don't like. He's not somebody who's going to choke you out or slap you around, you know what I mean. He's not a biter. I had a biter. I was like 'Who taught you that?' But he's very sensual and that's why I like him the most. He's my Old Faithful.
Do y'all still work together?
Yes. I'm just part time at that job so I don't see him all the time. And then when we go to work, it's like 'Hey, how you doing?' Like nothing! And that's the best thing. And the thing is when we first started talking, I said, 'You can save all your game. I don't want go out to eat with you. I don't want to go to the movies and hold your hand.' Like, I'm not trying to be out in these streets looking foolish with you. I know that you mess around. We're not even on the same wavelength if you think that me and you are going to be together. I'm not interested in a relationship, I'm not trying to marry you. I just want to be safe and have good sex.
He makes me feel comfortable because like I said I'm plus size, but just doing things with my shirt and top off or my bra off. You know if my titties are flopping in the air, he gon grab em for me. I don't want to just be out here exposed. And girl, after we had sex, I'm sitting there. He leans over and hugs and kisses my belly. Like, who does that?! He just made me feel so comfortable but without forcing it.
Don't say stuff like 'Oh I love you just the way you are.' 'I like BBWs' I don't need all that extra stuff! You don't even have to call me plus size. I know I'm fat. He ain't gon try to hold me up against the wall. I know I don't feel comfortable doing that! He's there for me and if I'm happy then of course that benefits him. That's why I mess with him the most. He might even try to tiptoe and do something different and if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't even have to say it, he can tell and he'll switch to something else. That's the best thing about him, I don't have to ask for head. It's everything and it's real effortless.
Him? This dude? I will call 'Daddy.' I would do anything--nasty shit that you wouldn't--girl, I'm wit it. Because he put it on you right. I always tell my friends I think it's because he's like a football player. And football players got a lot of thigh muscle and that thigh muscle be helping you out with the thrust. Because it's not even about size because I know somebody who is large and he literally will bang you. And I'm like, 'Who told you...' I'm not even experiencing any pleasure. It's just severe impact. But he's a minute man too so at least I'm not injuring myself.
Old Faithful's the only person that I text. Like this weekend was his birthday weekend and I didn't know it was his birthday. And I'm like 'Whatchu doing?' And he was like, 'Oh I might go out.' I said, 'Oh well I wanted some penis but if it's your birthday go ahead and have fun, turn up. Do you.' And he was like, 'No Ima come and see you after we done going out.' And I was like *Gasps* 'Awwww I get birthday penis! I feel honored!' This hoe want to give me his penis on his birthday? He could have all the vagina in the land and he just want to kick it with me.'
We not in a relationship, there's times I don't text back. He just really is consistent, like I'm there for you when you need it. And I'm like 'I need it!'
So you said you didn't cum the first time...
I didn't cum. I don't know how far after I came but I do know that I wasn't drunk so that's why I remember that. I feel like any sort of substance, whether it's alcohol or weed, it somewhat enhances your experience. Whether it takes out your insecurities, or gives you a little buzz-- but I wasn't and he literally just sat there-- we had had sex the first round and the second round is when I came. And let me tell you, the second round of having sex, it's the best sex ever, to me it is. Because I feel like I'm so sensitive after the first round. I've been tossed and flipped and I've been marinated in this sexual realm for a while. And then he come back and when he does the second round, he's very slow to enter me and I'm like sooo sensitive to that---
No, no, no. He gave me head in.the.morning.girl. I said--this how I knew I had to start messing with him. You know dudes are like, 'I'll give you head fresh out the shower. She all shaved and blaze blah.' This man is like, 'No actually, I like the bush. Actually, if you grow it out I'm more turned on by you growing it out than you shaving it.' Well, that's an automatic plus. That cuts down on housekeeping, right there.
So we had had sex and in the morning he was getting ready to go to work and he just rolls over and starts giving me head. I'm like I didn't even get a rag though. And when he did that, I started cumming. And I was like 'Oh my gosh!' I felt bad! Because I'm like I came. I don't even know what cum is. I've never done this before. It sounds like it's a lot. It sounds like pee. It's a lot of liquid action down there. But he didn't give a damn! He didn't take a break. He didn't move his head. He just kept doing it. In the spot that it happened for me, he just kept licking it. And I'm just like 'Oh my God!' He sat there probably about 30 minutes and just gave me head. I felt like crying. It felt so good.
And what's crazy is, once I started doing it, I was like 'Oh my God why have I never done this before. Why has this not happened for me? Why is this so easy now?' And it's just something about him, I just felt so relaxed and carefree. It was in the morning. It was bright. It wasn't no dark lights. I'm naked. I'm all sorts of exposed. And I was comfortable with this man who I've only been knowing for a few months. At that point, in that position, where he was, what do I have to hide from him? Ain't nothing else that I can fake. He knows me now. He just sat there and received all of me without even taking a break or thinking about anything, anything about 'Oh she big.' or 'We just had sex' or anything like that.
So I'm wondering if you found someone you could actually be in a relationship with, what would happen to him?
What would happen to Old Faithful? I'd have to let him go. I can let Old Faithful go. The thing about him is, because of my experience with him, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned things I like and don't like. I've learned how to be more open because now, after I've had sex with him, I'm cool. I feel like I'm running the game now. Now, when I mess with other guys, I don't really fake the funk. People ask me, 'Oh did you cum?' 'No. Did you see me cum? Then no, I didn't cum. You know I didn't, boy.' Or like if you're doing something I don't like, 'No, stop. Don't bite me.' I just asked a guy a couple months ago, 'Have you ever thought about Cialis?'
I don't have no holds barred because like I said I'm not in this to gain a relationship. So If I have a friend who wants to be my friend and wants to be my sex partner or my fuck buddy, per say, that's what we should be working on. I mean, yeah you're funny and cool to be around but I don't need no friends. I got friends. So if you're not going to be here to please me, I'm not going to keep seeing you. If you don't want to give head but you expect me to give head that's a no-no. You can feel any sort of way you want to about me. 'Oh she's a hoe.' For whatever reason men feel like they're more exposed to an STD but they don't think about that when they get head. I want an enjoyable experience too.
I told a guy--and he had a bigger penis and he was just so shy, talked all this stuff on messenger, this that and the other. Got to my house and just nervously making jokes, just standing there. I'm like, 'Okay, you ready to go to the bedroom?' I told him, 'If you're shy and feel like backing out, I'm going to feed off your energy. I can't be comfortable and loose with you, if you still got your beater on.' You need to take your clothes off. I'm naked. You need to be naked too.
This one guy was like, he in my house and he was like, 'I can't believe you got me in here naked.' Really?! Because you came over for sex. Why would you not be naked? What is that about?
I had one guy worried about if I was still with my baby daddy, if he knew where I stayed. Is he going to come in and be mad?' Like, Duh! Yes, he knows where I am.
See, Old Faithful, he a hoe. He done been through some situations. Baby daddies, pop ups. He's fully fit and equipped to handle his own. So he don't have any worries. When I'm with him, I'm so carefree. I ain't thinking about nothing else at that point. Like he the kinda person like 'Uhh I guess I'll take a Plan B if I need to.' But other people you're like 'Oh my gosh, get your hands off of me.'
Now, because of my experience with Old Faithful, it may or may not have--I don't know. I feel like men are intimidated by me now. I may talk the talk witchu but when you get here I'm going to back it up. And they're not ready for that.
And it's so funny because--I always joke and say I be out here thottin'...but out of all the people I've messed with, all the people I could have talked to or faked a relationship with, him, who I know I would never have a relationship with, everybody's like 'You need to call him again.' When I'm down, they're like 'Where Old Faithful at?'
The men say that?
They know that I need him in my life because he's so good to me. I was losing weight. I'm getting my cardio on.
My best friend calls him Chocolate Thunder. It's so funny because every dude I've messed with, including my kids' father, she's like, 'Umph...ugly.' She's always calling people ugly. But when he came over, he was bald headed, his beard, he's got this football build. Real, real, real dark skin. And it's not forced. He's not wearing this funky ass cologne. He's not wearing J's or Timbs. And she was like, 'Okay, sis.'
Got me feeling all proud.
And because we don't have to fake all the other stuff, it's so easy for me. I'm not getting up in the morning making you breakfast. I ain't so much as fixed him a bowl of cereal in the morning. The most I've given him is a bottle of water. I love it!
I don't have to shave. Lingerie? What's that? You better be naked.
I don't have to do all these things for him. And when he comes over, it's not just sex. Me and him actually sit there and talk about life problems. I talk about him messing up with his [ex] wife and having a baby momma on the side. The block is hot ain't it.
It's so funny because we see each other out, we go to kinda the same events. And I be over here mackin', he be over there mackin'. And then I'll text him like 'So what you doing?' And he'll be like 'Bout to come see you.' I love it so much! That is our relationship. Me and him have a special relationship and it's one of the most freeing things I've ever experienced. Because I've just always felt insecure and a lot of my confidence has come from my experience messing with him.
So you're one of those rare ones who can just have sex with no attachment...
You know I didn't think that was real. It's real. But people think that there's no attachment but there's a sexual attachment for sure. Because even though I know he a hoe and even though I be out here thottin in my own way, if we talk about having sex with other people, we can not stand it.
Ok. I took a six month leave from the game because I was in school, getting my life together, I was moving. And I text him and he came over and I said, 'Yeah, I haven't been with nobody since you.' And he was like, 'Really...' And I'm like 'I'm dead ass serious!' But he would not believe me. He was like, 'You had to be fucking with somebody if you wasn't fucking with me.'
But if I see him out in the club even though I know we gon have sex that night, if I see him talking to somebody, I'm like 'Man, she better not be fuckin' him.' Because all I'm thinking is he's going to find somebody who's more entertaining for him. He been going his whole merry little life without meeting me. It's something about that insecurity like 'Can't nobody be that attracted to me.'
And the thing is, he's so nice. He's a gentleman but he's just looking to have a good time but nothing really committed. But people don't want that out of a guy. I think he has insecurities about that too and I make him comfortable about it.
Insecurities about people not wanting him?
I think so. I think he's like well I got all these kids. The thing that he has to offer in his mind is his personality and his sex. That's not enough to cut it when people want to get married or they want somebody with money. What money he got? He got six kids. You automatically know he ain't got money. Even if he had money, it ain't for you. If I met somebody else, which is highly unlikely in my mind. I just feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. But if I did, I would have to let him go.
Why is he somebody you shouldn't be in a relationship with?
I don't have a good answer for that besides his other kids. Probably because I don't know if I should really trust him. Like I said we both feel some type of way about the thought of each other having sex with other people but I don't think we feel strong enough to be committed to each other.
I just feel like once I'm in a relationship with somebody--we've never had more than just our sexual relationship. So I don't know what he would do in this situation, if this religious dilemma came up. Saturday, he went to sleep in my driveway because he came over late. He came over at 3:30 a.m. But I fell asleep.
I'm getting ready to go to work in the morning and I just charged it up to the game, like 'It's his birthday, he's probably with somebody else.' So I go to pull out of my garage and here he is asleep in the car.
Like it's funny because he's my little boo thang. But if I was his wife like 'Negro get yo ass out the car!' 'You is too old. You're 37, you're too old to be acting like that.'
And I'm like if I'm going to do it again, I got to do it right.
I wasn't even mad that we didn't have sex. But we're having our makeup session tonight.
Good for you!
I know! I'm so happy. And he leaves in the morning because he works in the morning and so do I. It ain't a slumber party. I've never had a bad experience with him. Every time, I'm just like 'Yes!' And I can't predict it. Even though he does everything I like, it's never the same. It's always fun with him.